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Welcome to Relationship Insights from the Relationship Doctor, Kaye Gersch PhD!

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Does this sound like you?

Are you frustrated by being unable to communicate effectively with your partner? Do you ever feel properly heard? Are you unable to “get through” to your partner?

Do you fight, but the fights don’t lead to any resolution or solution? Instead, do your fights lead to an accumulation of bad feelings? Do the bad feelings erode the joy, hope and vitality you had at the beginning of your relationship?

Are you at the beginning of your relationship, and want to avoid pitfalls, and instead build a strong, sustainable relationship that will weather the storms of life?

Do you want to learn more about love, and how to grow love?

You need Relationship Insights!

I see many couples in my therapy practice. So, in my 73 years I’ve gained a lot of experience in working with relationships. People from a wide variety of backgrounds seek my help. Couples just like you.

Couples bring their heart-break and disappointment. They show me their fractured lives and financial ruin which result from relationships in disarray. I witness couples causing each-other unbearable pain.

By contrast, I also see couples create extraordinary healing and recovery, insight and development.

How did Relationship Insights come about?

Initially I wrote the Insights for my clients, to help between sessions. Then I realized that the Insights can be useful to you. Each Insight is based on an issue that couples brought to me – many times over – in actual therapy sessions.

These Insights go deep.

They have real substance.

Take them seriously.

Devote some time to the Relationship Insights – when you sign up, you will receive one new Insight each week. Apply them. You will find something of value for the rest of your life.

Your relationship is the most precious investment you will ever make. Far more valuable than your career, or your income. You invest your hopes and dreams, heart and soul. Not only that, you invest your future.

Your relationship investment is worth protecting. These Insights will help you grow and sustain your relationship.

Undoubtedly, you both bring baggage to this treasured relationship. Maybe you are aware of this baggage right from the start. But it might take a few rough patches in your relationship for the baggage to show up. This is where you need the Insights for repairs.

Coming to this website is like entering a forest, and each Insight is a tree. As you apply each Insight you will grow a forest that will sustain you into your future.

Repair, grow and sustain!

Have you considered that you have much personal power to influence your present and future relationship? Inevitably, the shape of your relationship future is dependent on your thoughts, feelings, habits and actions today.

Therefore, Relationship Insights educate your thoughts and your thoughts shape your actions.

Your particular relationship is unique, with limits and possibilities shaped by the history and psychology of both of you. It makes sense to make the most of this potential.

So, be the best partner you can possibly be! Repair, grow and sustain your relationship!

In Relationship Insights you will learn:

  • Ways of being together that are comforting and reassuring
  • When to take a break from discussion - non-stop intensity may not be helpful!
  • How to ask open-ended questions that invite your partner to open up
  • How to understand each others feelings around harmful events, and develop a plan to prevent further regrettable incidents from occurring.
  • How to understand more about you own vulnerabilities and the subjects that threaten you or make you uncomfortable - and how to overcome them.
  • How to understand what your partner's vulnerabilities are, and how to reassure your partner during conflict, as well as soothe your own distress.
  • How you "project" onto our partners, and in so doing expect them to behave in certain ways. You will begin the work of withdrawing these projections.
  • How you respond to stress and threat, and how to negotiate with your partner in times of conflict.
  • How to bring up difficult subjects without wrecking the relationship!
  • How to build trust.
  • How to build mutual goals and confidence in a future together.

Are Relationship Insights right for you?

The intended readership of these Relationship Insights is anyone in a committed relationship, or hoping to turn their relationship into a commitment.

For brand new relationships, as well as for long-term couples.

No gender bias – the full rainbow. Anyone will find themselves in these Insights.

Although dealing with serious issues, each Insight is short enough to read in 10 mins, and begin to apply immediately.

The language used is conversational and the examples given are recognisable as contemporary life.

Allow about one week to absorb each Insight, and to apply that learning. Then you won’t be overwhelmed with too much at once!

Inevitably, you as an individual learn things about yourself in a couple that you could have avoided, or which might have been invisible, as an individual.

Good relationships are, arguably, the foundation of a secure family and a thriving culture.

Good relationships also provide the foundation for a creative life, and meaningful contribution to the culture itself.

The single reason I continue to work with individuals and couples is the huge benefit gained by sustained successful relationships, and the alleviation of suffering for entire families.

So does your relationship make you happy? Or does your relationship make you learn and grow? These Relationship Insights will help you to do both.

How can you learn from your relationship?

How can you learn in your relationship?

What skills can you bring to your relationship?

These Relationship Insights help you make the way smoother than it might be. There are many Insights about repairing the rough patches. And sometimes you need care packages or emergency supplies.

The two main issues couples bring to therapy are communication and conflict. Through these Relationship Insights, learn how to communicate in effective ways. And learn how to confront difficult situations and manage your own response to conflict. You will also learn to comfort yourself, and console your partner, when the going is rough.

Couples therapy sessions with Dr. Kaye Gersch:

Each session is approximately 2 hours - $450

"The reason we came to Kaye for couples therapy was because my husband was in hospital after a sporting accident and I found myself yelling at him for being selfish. Despite loving each other, our communication had become so poor due to our busy lives, that I had lost my ability to be empathetic.

One of the fears I had was that counselling would lead us directly to divorce. We had heard so many stories of failed counselling, we were both more afraid of the relationship breaking down, than attending the therapy.

The most helpful session was after the big argument. Our behaviour towards each other was awful. We had no means to stop and we were both exhausted. Gently guiding us down the road of re-opening our lines of communication was just what we needed.

The benefit over time is that we are slowly, slowly re-connecting, in fits and spurts, but we are reassured that we love each other and want to be together.

Thank you, Kaye, for being brave enough to round us back up and point us in the right direction when we argued."

"We initially were reluctant to seek couples therapy; not knowing if it was going to have a positive impact on our relationship or further highlight how far we were removed from each other. The catalyst for us was a river of challenges such as navigating the impact of PTSD, substance abuse, a difference in cultures, a blended family with step children along with mental and physical health challenges. (WOW, I forgot how many obstacles we’ve had!)

My greatest fear about entering couples therapy was about speaking to a women therapist. In my culture men problems are very much for men to deal with, usually on their own. I also thought a therapist would gang up on me and take my partners side. This was not the case at all as Kaye was always impartial. She opened up a space that made it easy for me to discuss feelings, emotions and family history. Kaye always brought us back to listening to each other and trying to gain a perspective of the other in each situation. She considered the perspectives of both of us every step of the way.

The tools that were most helpful were the “I-I” process, which allowed me to vent safely. Also the understanding that my wife doesn’t need me to fix everything - sometimes she just needs to feel heard and understood.

Continuing sessions bring what I call a reboot of positive communication and listening toolbox.

Thanks Kaye, not only from us but our mob of kids too."

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