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Tell Me No Lies

  • kayegersch
  • Apr 6, 2020
  • 2 min read
RD reads Tell-Me-No-Lies-Dr-Peter-T-Pearson

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How to Stop Lying to your Partner – and Yourself – in the 4 stages of marriage.

By Drs Ellyn Bader and Peter Pearson.

T his is a penetrating and fearless book! Every time I pick it up I am faced with an additional understanding of my own behaviour and the compromises I make and have made. My commitment is to tell the truth – or at least not to lie, following Jordan Peterson.One of my Insights: “Who is lying? Truth in a relationship”. Tell Me No Lies is a guidebook for this commitment.
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I have met both Peter and Ellyn and spent 3 days with them for a residential workshop in California in 2018. Their authenticity is impressive. They are generous and committed – to each other, and to their work with couples. They are clearly motivated by love – ultimately love of mankind. They are dedicated to making a difference.The Couples Institute is distinguished by the Developmental Model as applied to the growth of the relationship itself, as well as both partners. An understanding of this led me to have multiple useful insights into why any couple has particular conflicts.

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E veryone lies; parents to children, politicians to constituents, and we lie to our spouses. It is easy to underestimate the power that lies – even seemingly harmless ones – can wield in your relationship. Tell me no Lies explores the complexity of honesty versus deception in a relationship and reveal the many reasons we lie.

This book offers a new way to think about truth and deception. It will help you understand the dynamics of your marriage in the context of the marital stages. When you identify your marital stage, you can overcome the barriers to honesty and move to a happier and more fulfilling marriage.

> In the Honeymoon stage, we refuse to acknowledge any problems and lie to protect this perfect picture. > In Emerging Differences, we might want to tell each-other home truths which are an exaggeration of our differences. > In the Freedom stage, we can get intoxicated with our independence – marital anarchy ensues if the togetherness aspect is lost in the explorations of freedom. > Together as Two is a hard-won stage, marked by transparency and trust.

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Desc This is a handbook for all ages and stages of relationship. center no-repeat;center top;; auto

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Just before Jung died in 1961 he wrote: 

"Nothing is holy any longer (CW 18 para 581 and 2). Through scientific understanding our world has become dehumanised. (Our) immediate communication with nature is gone for ever (para 585) No wonder the Western world feels uneasy, for it does not know how much...it has lost through the destruction of its numinosities. Its moral and spiritual tradition has collapsed, and has left a worldwide disorientation and dissociation."

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