Cabin Fever Couples find themselves being work–chore–parenting–schooling–health–mates. This post is about growing through adversity. It arose from COVID lockdowns, but can be applied in many situations.

If she wants sex but you don’t, and the other way around, we are talking about desire discrepancy in your relationship. You will be upset. And inevitably your partner will be upset. This is normal! It is also a complex issue, but let’s begin…

I have written “Hear me out! The art of speaking and listening,” because this is the skill that will make a big difference to all your relationships.

Here, in Money-talk: Yours, Mine, and Ours, I present a pragmatic approach to the money issues you encounter as a couple. However, I also include the psychology of those issues as well, and why they are important. Your attitudes around money will directly affect your direction or telos, as you discovered in Soul and Money.

Before we get to Money-talk: Yours, Mine, and Ours, the companion article which follows this Insight, let us pause to consider why money is such a tricky business. To do this, I will explore soul and money.

In “Sameness or Difference: Do You Still Love Me When We Don’t Agree?”, you will discover the importance of apparently contradictory things: consensus, mirroring, individuation and difference. One of the benefits of a committed long-term relationship is that you have another point of view available to you at all times. Whether you like it or not!

There is an intimate connection between attachment style and your style of relationship. Attachment style is about how you learned to love and trust as a child. What influence does your attachment style have on your relationships as an adult? Attachment style translates into how you love — that is, how you respond to your partner and how you treat your partner.

In this article, I look deeper into what brings satisfaction, contentment and meaning to our lives, especially as a couple. Happiness may just not do it. Happiness might be aiming too low.

<p>Having trouble understanding yourself? Having trouble understanding others? Understanding personality can solve many communication difficulties. Much misunderstanding between people is because we imagine that all people<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>Robert Feldman in his book, &#8220;The Liar in your Life&#8221;, authored a famous study that found strangers lie to each other about three times in the<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>Nothing kills a relationship as quickly as contempt. Contempt leads to the failure of any relationship; partners, parents, children, colleagues. John Gottman, in his extensive research into the causes<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

How might you take the most benevolent perspective? When you have a benevolent perspective you concentrate on what works. When you are...

<p>So, there you are having a full-on fight. You each want to prove how wrong the other is. You each want the final, clever last word.<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>A happy ending depends on when you stop the story&#8230;. I am talking with a couple who have stayed together through good times and bad, including<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>Many years ago I knew a bubbly, vivacious young woman. We were both at the same stage of life, preoccupied with raising children and forging workable<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

This Insight gives some of the finer points of staying present. What happens when the way your partner is speaking to you pushes all your...

<p>Prof Jordan Peterson says, &#8220;Don&#8217;t make the mistake of getting into a stupid relationship in the first place.&#8221; So, how to avoid those mistakes, and how<span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>In this Insight, I focus on domestic violence between a couple. With self-isolation and lockdown for covid-a9, is it inevitable though regrettable, that domestic violence increases. <span class="excerpt-hellip"> […]</span></p>

<p>When couples consult with me, I look to understand the cause of their relationship stress. Sometimes, there really isn&#8217;t a lot that needs changing &#8211; except their perpetual fatigue. Fatigue has devastating results for your relationship.</p>

<p>When I hear a couple trying to shout each other down, or shut each other down, the fundamental issue is that neither is feeling heard. The often unspoken plea is, “Just hear me out”. </p>