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It Takes One to Tango

  • kayegersch
  • Apr 6, 2020
  • 2 min read
RD reads It-Takes-One-Tango-Winifred-M-Reilly

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How I Rescued my Marriage with (almost) no Help from my Spouse – and you can too.

By Winifred Reilly.

R elationship books abound, so how do you know which are the best?This is my all-time favourite.Why? Well, my training as a couple’s therapist is mostly through The Couples Institute, as is Winifred Reilly’s. This is one reason I recommend it so often. The same attitude to couples work pervades my Relationship Insights and work with couples, as you will discover in Reilly’s book. So, it supports what you will read on my website.
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T he second reason I recommend this book so often is that it is very honest; Reilly is transparent about her own process so you will see yourself in her own struggles and triumphs.The third reason is that “It Takes One to Tango” emphasises personal accountability. My clients often lament that they want to work on their marriage, but their partner won’t come to couples counselling. The question is whether your relationship can be saved when you are the only one working on it – and maybe the only one who thinks something is wrong.A common misconception about couples counselling is that I will be focussed on fixing your partner. Sometimes a partner will read to me from their favourite relationships book, and quote how their partner should be changing. “He should be doing this! See!” No, no, what actually happens is that each partner will work on themselves! So, Reilly’s book will help you work on yourself and your own attitudes and behaviours and this, in turn, will benefit your relationship. Whether or not you are in Couples Counselling.Ellyn Bader, Director of The Couples Institute, says,

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Marriage is a challenging journey. Far too many couples lose their way. This wise and uplifting book gives you a road map to create a vibrant marriage and come out a far better person on the other side

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As with all worthwhile information, this book takes some effort to read and apply. I just wish I had had this work when I really needed it myself.

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Comments


Just before Jung died in 1961 he wrote: 

"Nothing is holy any longer (CW 18 para 581 and 2). Through scientific understanding our world has become dehumanised. (Our) immediate communication with nature is gone for ever (para 585) No wonder the Western world feels uneasy, for it does not know how much...it has lost through the destruction of its numinosities. Its moral and spiritual tradition has collapsed, and has left a worldwide disorientation and dissociation."

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